The Anxiety of the end.....

first off, sorry for never blogging..... i just cant seem to type anything when i get onto my blog spot. nothing want to come out....

i have had trouble writing all semester.... i have been dealing with this anxiety of writing all semester . the moment i sign on to blog nothing happens when my fingertips hit the keyboard.... and thats pnly the beginning... papers are even harder for me to write! when i sit down to do any type of writing i feel like its a huge mountain that i need to climb but i dont have the strength to do it. i just feel like im all out of words to write down. but i think i have figured it out... the anxiety is purely coming from the fact that in a few short weeks a chapter of live is closing (that is if i can start catching up on my blogs!) and graduation is jsut around the corner. i have been waiting for this last semester of school to happen for two years now and now that it is here....i dont know what to do with myself.

on top of the fact that i need to make sure i get through this last semester i need to write my capstone paper... but again... have no idea what i should write about. in class on wednesday lisa talked about writing on what she knows now that she didnt know before. i thought to myself well theres a start i should try to go from there since it is such a broad topic... but again with the anxiety... i just cant even think about what i have learned and havent learned. i feel like throughout the past 6 years of school here at MSU i have learned more life lessons then anything.... thank goodness im meeting with sexson this morning to firgure out what the heck i am going to do!!

on a totally different note, i went to the baxter for the recitation on tuesday night and it was so great! it was really quite beautiful to hear everyone recite their lines one after another in no particular order. Eliot's four quartets is becoming one of my favorite things to just pick up and read. at times i just pick it up and open it to a random page and start reading from there.... i wish my mind was working as it should so i could get an idea for my paper from just doing that... but the second i think about writing that paper my mind shuts down...